Thursday, November 20, 2008

There's only ONE good kind of cleavage.

Today I saw a girl with a terrible problem.
She was wearing some really cute flats, navy with some white detailing, clearly they weren't the problem...
The problem was what the flats revealed....

At least an inch of TOE CLEAVAGE.

SHRIEK!!!

I hate toe cleavage, I really do. You can't sport toe cleavage until you're J-Lo, and even then, it's iffy. Showing some cleavage now and then is all well and good, as long as it's of the chest variety. I mean, I have no interest in boobs, but I'd rather see a hint of them than I would a hint of nasty feet. The only thing worse than toe cleavage is, of course, ass cleavage. It's suprising how many poor gals out there have no idea that four inches of crack is hanging out. Seriously, get a handle on things and haul up those jeans!!!


xoxoxox.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Uggs? Ugh!

Okay, so it's fall (bleh), which means that for three months now I've been seeing Ugg-clad girls crawling all over the place. Now, I have a serious beef with Uggs. They were cute in '06, they really were, but seriously, give it a rest! And contrary to popular belief, an Ugg (or UGH, as I say) does not go with everything. Let me repeat, since nobody really seems to understand this;

THEY DON'T GO WITH EVERYTHING!!!

My personal least favorite? Uggs with sweatpants. BLAH. The whole Ugg-sweats outfit is droopy, and nasty, and lazy, and I HATE IT, OH HOW I HATE IT WITH ALL OF MY BEING.
When I say Uggs, I don't mean everything made by the company. I mean, they've come up with some cute designs. When I say Uggs, I mean these awful things. The puffy, sasquatchy, Eskimo-looking almost-slippers.
(Actually, these ones are pretty terrible too.)
The point I'm trying to make here is, I'm sick sick SICK of these UGGly boots. Seriously, get something not hideous. It's possible. STAY STRONG AND RESIST THEIR CUSHIONY PULL!

xoxox.

PS; While I'm in this angry mood, know what else I hate? Chocolate Special K bars. They're disgusting. They'd probably taste worse if I was wearing Uggs, though.

Ahh! I repent!

JULY was the last time I posted here. JULY. UNACCEPTABLE. I REPENT!
Please cleanse me of my blog-ignoring sins!
AAAHHH!

(ahem.)

Anyway, what I'm getting at is I'm going to be on here a LOT more than I have been. Like, a LOOOTTT more. So get ready to once again experience the flesh-tearing boredom of updates from my life. I don't know how I lasted this long without knowing others are sharing the pointless moments I feel like blogging about.

I'M BACK, BITCHES!

Hey, you know what word I miss? Biatch. I mean, I think that went out of style along with scrunchies in grade five, but seriously, how much fun is it to greet your friends with a shrill "BEEEEYOOOTCHHHH!!!" ? I think that might be my new thing.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo and xo!